092 WEIGHT LOSS Without WILLPOWER: The Pressure Free Approach

What if sustainable change didn’t require force, pressure, or endless willpower? 

In this episode, Carly explores a gentler, more grounded path to weight loss, one rooted in self-trust, body awareness, and presence. 

Whether you're navigating menopause, burnout, or the pressure to “do it all,” this is your reminder: you can support your body through change without abandoning yourself.

✨ If this speaks to you and you'd like support with this? I invite you to book a free clarity call and let’s walk the path together.

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If you'd like to get in touch to ask a question about today's episode or to find out how you can get support from my coaching, reach out on the following links:

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Thanks for listening to The Strong Bones Coach Podcast!

If you’d like to get in touch with a question about today’s episode or find out how I can support you with coaching, here’s how to reach me:
📧 Email: carlykillenpt@gmail.com
📱 Instagram: @thestrongbonescoach

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Thank you for being here, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey to strength, health, and confidence! 💪🦴✨

Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Hello, lovely people and welcome back to the Strong Bones Coach Podcast. I'm Carly, and today we are talking about something that goes far beyond weight loss or nutrition plans, and it's something that's been coming up a lot in my sessions lately. My clients have been commenting that my approach is quite different to those other methods or coaches that they've worked with before. So it got me thinking and I thought perhaps I might sit with that and bring together what it is that they've been doing. It's about time, right? So a lot of women come to me with body composition goals like weight loss or improving their waist hip ratio. At the time of life that they come to me, they've often been on and off diets a lot through their life, and they're looking for something really sustainable that supports the health, especially as they move through perimenopause or navigate those postmenopausal changes. That waist hit ratio can become a lot more relevant at this time of life, especially for women. Those concerns are real valid and often reflect a deeper desire for energy, autonomy, and long-term wellbeing. But there's a pattern. I've noticed the women who make the most meaningful, sustainable progress, they're not white knuckling it. They're not punishing themselves into change. They're doing something much more powerful. Much more aligned with how they're actually wired for growth. They're learning to lead with presence instead of pressure, and they're finding new ways to meet their needs, not numb them. They're also tuning into their bodies with curiosity, moving away from criticism. So this episode is about exactly that. What real, compassionate presence led progress looks like. And how you can begin wherever you are. So let's get started. So what does present led progress actually look like? Well, it's not about being perfect, it's about being present. My clients who thrive aren't pushing themselves through impossible rules. They're learning to breathe when things feel messy, move their bodies to feel connected, not just to burn calories. They're leaning into feeding themselves with care and flexibility and say, this is what I need. Even when that means slowing right down. This is a real transformation here. So today I'm going to share with you a little about the frameworks I use to support my client journeys. They're not precise blueprints because although everyone I work with is at a point of transition or crossroads in their lives, they each bring their own experiences, life challenges, and hopes for the future. So if that feels a little like you too. This might interest you, so keep listening. The one of the frameworks I teach in my coaching is something I call eat or peace, and that was a nu with a number four in the middle of that. And it's not a diet, it's a system for building sustainable, kind, and nourishing relationship with food. Because we know how it can be at times that on and off relationship with food that I'm on it. I need a straight run. I'll start when I'm ready. I'll start when the holiday's over, perhaps when life's gonna be a bit easier for 4, 6, 12 weeks. And let's be honest, we can probably put our life on hold for that amount of time to have that perfect run, get some really big results, some fantastic before and after photos. But how does it work when life gets real? When you think about this as something to support you for the rest of your life, is that how you want to be focusing? Do you want to feel completely on it the whole time, or would you love it if it could just flow and perhaps even your food not even being top of mind in any kind of way? Because that gives you the freedom to do the rest of life, right? We're not here to focus solely on nutrition. So yes, that might sound funny. Coming from a dietician has spent many years, over a decade, 15, 16 years, I think since I qualified, I lose track and my goal is for everybody to be able to just put down all those food thoughts and get on with what really matters to them. So let's talk about how this works then. So it's called Eat for Peace, and it's based around four Ps. That is pattern plates, pleasure and purpose slash peace. I'm slightly cheating this kind of five, but they sort of work in the same arena, so let's get explaining it then. So when we look at the pattern, this is all around finding a rhythm that suits your body and lifestyle. So you don't need someone else's routine. You just need to have a look at your rhythm that works for your body, your energy, and your life stage. So whether that's eating every four to six hours or enjoying two meals and a snack, whether you're someone that likes to eat more frequently or less. So it's about sustainable nourishment, not restriction. So together we would explore what works for you, what's worked in the past, what's no longer working, and giving yourself time to really present with how it feels before looking at making any changes. And when we're happy with the pattern of how the rhythm of the eating wants to look, we'll start to look at the plates. Then you might be a little more familiar with this. So I like to use really simple, flexible methods, often using the hand portion guides as a guide to creating that plate, that balanced meal. And yes, there's other ways that we can do this, and this is always up for discussion. Again, we're looking at ways to make this sustainable. So even if it might look like tracking on an app initially, for people that might want to do this, they might love numbers, that's fine, but it's not something we're gonna do forever. So we'd like to look at how would your ideal plate look for you? So we might use the simple flexible hand portion guide. You might be familiar with this, and this is so we can make balanced eating second nature to you. Balancing protein, veg, carbs, fats. It's not about perfection. It's about how you can be present and how you might want to present the food to yourself as well. Looks appearance as well as the nutritional balance are all super important for you. When we give ourselves care over our food, it sends a message to, to ourselves about our own level of self care too. So, yes, there will be education here as needed. I do believe that the majority of you have a sense of what is ideal to eat, but as we know, there is so much information available now, it can be hard to discern facts from fiction. So as a registered dietician, you can be assured that the support I provide. Is rooted in evidence whilst also being able to adapt to your individual needs, especially if you have additional health conditions that require specific guidance, making sure it still fits your life and your values.'cause let's face it, if you're trying to do something that conflicts with how you want to live your life, it's not gonna last long. So it's just as important as what goes on your plate as how it fits in your life. So moving on to the next P. Something that I don't often hear people talk about and that is pleasure. Now it's perfectly fine and actually. It's desirable to want to get some kind of pleasure out of food at time to time. And on the same note, not every meal needs to be gourmet spectacularness, but food should feel good most of the time. So yes, you can eat with joy and intention. You also explore non-food pleasure. Let's face it, when we live a busy life, when we feel like our to-do list is never ending, sometimes it can get to the end of the day, and the only joy you have left is that packet of biscuits and a cup of tea. Or maybe it's the wine and cake, when we add in other ways to connect with joy, with pleasure. Which can involve movement, connection with others, creativity, even stillness. Food doesn't carry the same emotional load anymore. This starts to give you that freedom to really enjoy your food, but really enjoy your life too. And finally, we have our purpose and peace, and this is all about staying connected to why you want to make these food choices. And it might mean making some changes, but you're doing it in a way that allows you to breathe, to adapt and live your life. So we reconnected you to your why. It might be that you want more strength, more energy, improving your mood, improving your confidence, but just as importantly, we anchor into peace in a way that allows you to make the adjustments to feel safe in your own choices, knowing that they are your choices. And this isn't about there being a right or wrong. And the reason I choose purpose is because sometimes we have a specific goal. Sometimes it's something we really do want to work towards, and perhaps there is an outcome we would really like to see. And as much as I hold this softly, it is absolutely okay to have outcomes based goals. What's also okay is to not have them. So when we are in perhaps that more focused phase, which some people are, especially near the beginning, we lean more into purpose and have a look. What is the purpose of this meal? Is it to support the goal? Sometimes we want to make a choice that might not suit your overall purpose. For example, if it's weight loss and you've been invited out for a birthday meal with family. You have a choice here whether to make choices that align with your weight loss goal, or you may decide that for this meal, the purpose is more around connection and enjoyment, and you're not going to want to stress yourself out analyzing a menu ahead of time or scrutinizing it at the table. And of course there are choices that can support both healthy choices that support your goal and allow you to be with family, be with friends, be with the moments without feeling like you are held hostage by your goals. But this is where the personal approach comes in. This is where we check in on what is it you really want, what choice do you want to make in this present moment? So this is truly nutrition with nervous system support, baked in true food freedom with flexibility and not fear. That's what it's all about for me. And moving on to another tool that really supports the client journey outside of nutrition, and that is using breathwork as a tool for truth, not just relaxation. So if you've ever rolled your eyes, affirmations that don't stick, like I agree, same for me too. And there's a reason for that. So if you can't get on board with saying, I love my body, when deep down, you know, you don't feel that way, there's nothing wrong with you, it's just your body's BS barometer. Affirmations only work when we believe them. And this is why breath work can be really helpful. The breath doesn't lie. It gives you what you need, not always what you want. I've experienced this many times, but it's always been supportive, even if at times I've wanted to have a little bit of a tantrum about it. But as I said, it doesn't lie. It truly gets underneath the noise. It gives us a way to check in with what's real. Not just what sounds good. And when we do that, we build real self-trust and that is the foundation of every aligned action that we take. And finally, let's look at movement. Now, my clients that do best use movement as connection, not punishment, Because if you're still trying to earn your food or burn it off, that's not freedom. Mobility work isn't just about getting more flexible. This can be your nervous system, support your wind down at the end of a busy day. Your gentle stretch to unfurl after a night of sleep. Strength training. Well, this is future proofing your health, this is about building strength for the woman you are today and the 80-year-old version of you who you're becoming. You're leaning into freedom of movement that builds freedom of choice. Freedom of self-expression in the way you move fuel and treat your body. So sometimes the biggest shifts happen quietly. Progress isn't always loud. They happen on a random Tuesday when you choose a walk instead of the biscuits, when you take a breath instead of snapping at someone when you notice you've eaten enough and you just stop, no drama. It's not about the loud Instagram worthy wins, it's about the quiet, consistent moments where you choose to stay with yourself even when it's uncomfortable. So it's not just the nervous system work here. I know it's becoming a buzzword as well, but it is identity work. It's your true becoming or perhaps as I like to say, remembering. So if this is speaking to you, you are not broken, you are not behind, and you don't need another plan to fix you. You might just need space to reflect, to breathe. To ask, what do I actually need? And if that's something you'd like support with, I'd love to sit with you in the messy middle, in the pause, in the possibilities. So let's take 30 minutes to breathe, to talk, to chat, explore what might be your next step from a place of presence. Not pressure. And if this sounds good to you, you can book a free clarity call via the link in the show notes@carlykillen.com because your next step doesn't have to be dramatic. It just needs to be true to you. And with that power, leave you there for this week. Stay strong and take care.