077: Compassionate CONSISTENCY: A New Way to Thrive through MENOPAUSE

Do you feel like you “just need to be more consistent” but never quite manage to stick to a routine? 

You're not broken, and you're not alone. 

In this episode of The Strong Bones Coach Podcast, Carly breaks down why the old model of consistency doesn't work for women in perimenopause and menopause, and how to embrace a new way of showing up for yourself that actually sticks.

You’ll learn:

• Why rigid routines often backfire in midlife
• How hormonal changes impact energy, sleep, and motivation
• What “compassionate consistency” really means—and how to apply it
• Real-life examples of flexible routines that support bone health, strength, and emotional wellbeing
• The exact question to ask each day to help you stay on track (without burnout)

Plus, Carly shares her own story of shifting from “match the men” fitness to honoring her own rhythms... and how that changed everything.

✨ Want personalised support? Book your free Clarity Call with Carly at carlykillen.com

Thanks for listening to the Strong Bones Coach Podcast

If you'd like to get in touch to ask a question about today's episode or to find out how you can get support from my coaching, reach out on the following links:

hello@carlykillencoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/thestrongbonescoach

Thanks for listening to The Strong Bones Coach Podcast!

If you’d like to get in touch with a question about today’s episode or find out how I can support you with coaching, here’s how to reach me:
📧 Email: hello@carlykillencoaching.com
📱 Instagram: @thestrongbonescoach

Do you crave unshakable confidence in your strength from midlife and beyond? Would you love to achieve your goals without sacrificing family time or self-care?

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🌟 For tailored advice or personal queries, email me at hello@carlykillencoaching.com.

Thank you for being here, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey to strength, health, and confidence! 💪🦴✨

Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Have you ever told yourself, I just need to be more consistent, but the moment life gets busy, your routine falls apart and so does your confidence. I have news for you. You are not lazy. You do not lack discipline. You are human. And if you're a woman in midlife navigating your menopause transition, consistency might not look the way it used to. Welcome to the Strong Bones Coach Podcast. I'm your host, Carie Killen menopause coach and strength specialist, and today we are redefining consistency. We are going to explore a concept I call compassionate consistency, and I'll show you how this one shift in perspective can completely change the way you approach your health, strength, and self-care. So let's get started. So let's start with where the old model fails, or I call an old model. It's still relevant to some people perhaps, but for years I thought consistency meant repetition. Get up at 5:00 AM hit the gym, eat the same breakfast, keep pushing no matter what. And if I'm honest, I used to wear it like a badge of honor no matter what was going on in my life, I could keep this consistency up. I was super proud of that. Somewhat along the way, I absorbed the idea that to be successful I had to match the routines. I saw men following. I thought needing a little more flexibility or softness meant I was somehow less committed. It wasn't until I was in my mid to late thirties, I started noticing my own shift in energy hormones and recovery, and I realized this isn't about weakness. It's basic biology. We're not broken. We're not any less. We're just different. And honoring that difference is the most empowering thing we can do. So let's look at how menopause changes consistency. As are hormones, estrogen and progesterone and testosterone all fluctuate. So does our sleep quality. Mood and mental clarity, we might start to experience joint aches, increased risk of injury. Our energy levels and recovery changes perhaps becomes inconsistent, unpredictable, and what this means is doing the exact same routine the exact same way every day, may no longer serve you. In fact, it could be working against you. Your body might need gentler movement one day and more power the next. It's less about perfect execution and more about consistent care. So here's a reframe for you. Compassionate consistency, the art of showing up for yourself with intention, not punishment. Tuning in, not powering through. It's both the nurturing compassion that says yes, rest is productive. Maybe you need to be gentler with yourself. Maybe it is the chocolates in the bubble bath that day, but there is also another slide to compassion, that fierce compassion that says, let's do that thing future you will thank you for. So it's not always about going easy on yourself. It's about doing so in your best interest from a place of love. Consistency isn't just training at 6:00 AM every day, no matter what. It's the, I check in with what I need. I choose the actions that support me now and in the future. So of course, in this podcast, we're all about the. Real life examples, practical tips. So let's give an example here. Let's say you usually train on Tuesdays. You do your strength training routine as per usual, but you've had a rough night's sleep, your cycle shifted, and your energy is rock bottom. So here we have the choices. We can force the workout, we can power through no matter what. We might decide to skip it all together. Maybe we will do it another day. Say all your choices, but we also have the choice to adapt. Perhaps we take a gentler session, reducing the weights, or reducing the reps, and keeping the weights just as heavy. Perhaps we decide taking some gentle breaths and going for a walk is gonna be at best that day. Yes, you can move. The lift to another day is completely different from completely skipping the session. Or we can focus on recovery as part of the plan. That can be taking that session as a mobility session, nurturing what your body needs for that day to set you up for the rest of the day. And it's the same with food. Maybe you didn't prep your usual meal. So instead of defaulting to toast and butter and calling it dinner, you could still make a more supportive choice, perhaps a protein shake, soup, eggs on greens, something like that. We can still have a balanced meal, even if it's a little bit of a scrap together, one from stuff that's left in the fridge. We still made an effort. You've still shown up, and that's what matters. So when we make these choices, these changes, these adaptations, you are not inconsistent. You're evolving. You don't need a rigid plan. You need a strong relationship with yourself. And that means allowing a different pace, perhaps a wider lens, different perspective, more space for trial and error. Recall that being consistent with your values, not just your habits. So perhaps there's something you might want to try this week. Perhaps you could ask yourself a simple question each day. What does showing up for myself look like today? Then take one aligned action. It might be a 10 minute walk, a breath, or choosing to rest. It might be showing up at your usual workout time and doing it differently. So if you're tired of the all or nothing cycle, this is your way out. So if you've ever felt like you're failing because your routines don't look picture perfect every week. Hear me when I say this. You're doing better than you think. You are navigating a lot physically, emotionally, hormonally, and the fact that you're still showing up at all that is strength. So let's leave perfection at the door and instead practice compassionate consistency. And if you want help figuring out what that looks like in your world, you can book a free clarity call with me via the link in the show notes at carlykillen.com. You don't have to figure this all out alone. So until next time, keep showing up your way. Stay strong and take care.