075 How to Avoid MENOPAUSE BURNOUT: Signs You Need to Take a Break

How do you know when it’s time to take a break?

Menopause brings a whole new level of exhaustion, overwhelm, and emotional load. Maybe you’ve been pushing through, telling yourself you’ll rest later—but later never comes. 

The truth is, burnout in midlife is real, and recognising the signs early can help you recharge before you completely run out of steam.

In this episode, we’re diving into:
 ✅ The biggest warning signs of menopause burnout
✅ Why hormonal shifts make stress and overwhelm feel worse
✅ How to take breaks that actually refuel you (without guilt!)
✅ Practical ways to build in rest—even when life is busy

Menopause literally has the word pause in it, but when was the last time you gave yourself permission to slow down?

🎧 Tune in now to learn how to take a break before burnout takes over!

👉 Need support in navigating menopause without exhaustion? Book a free Clarity Call at carlykillen.com to create a personalised plan for feeling your best.

Thanks for listening to the Strong Bones Coach Podcast

If you'd like to get in touch to ask a question about today's episode or to find out how you can get support from my coaching, reach out on the following links:

hello@carlykillencoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/thestrongbonescoach

Thanks for listening to The Strong Bones Coach Podcast!

If you’d like to get in touch with a question about today’s episode or find out how I can support you with coaching, here’s how to reach me:
📧 Email: hello@carlykillencoaching.com
📱 Instagram: @thestrongbonescoach

Do you crave unshakable confidence in your strength from midlife and beyond? Would you love to achieve your goals without sacrificing family time or self-care?

Ready to take your strength to the next level? Start building a stronger body and healthier bones with my Strong Bones Starter Kit—your step-by-step guide to safe and effective strength training at home.
👉 Click here to learn more and access today

🌟 Stay connected and inspired with daily wellness tips on Instagram @thestrongbonescoach.
🌟 For tailored advice or personal queries, email me at hello@carlykillencoaching.com.

Thank you for being here, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey to strength, health, and confidence! 💪🦴✨

Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Hello and welcome back to The Strong Bones Coach Podcast with me, your host, Carly Killen and it's good to be back. If you've been listening for a while, you might have noticed I took a couple of weeks off, life got a bit lifey and I needed to take a step back to take a rest and reevaluate how I'm doing things. So I thought what better topic to talk about today? Then, knowing when you need to take a break. Though as women in midlife, many of us have spent years, if not decades, being the ones who hold everything together. We've been taught to be available, to help, to support, often putting our own needs to the bottom of the pile. Can you relate? So it's no surprise that we often push through exhaustion, ignoring the signs of overwhelm, and just keeping on going because that's just what we do. And this was definitely my strategy for far too long. It was always something to just get done or finish off or achieve before I could let myself have that proper rest. But if you're anything like me, You'll find that those things never quite end. There's always something or someone that can take up your time and energy if you let it. And yes, I know, I can hear you rolling your eyes from here. This absolutely would have been me too on hearing this. It is hard to make that decision to take a pause when the world just doesn't stop spinning. You might never feel like you have time for a break. And that's okay, and you are not alone in this. But here's the thing, burnout takes so much longer to recover from than taking a well timed, chosen pause. And I'm speaking from experience here. And perhaps menopause is the perfect invitation to start listening to those signs instead of overriding them. So in today's episode, we're going to cover the signs your body and mind are asking for a break, why menopause can make you feel a little less resilient, how to actually take meaningful breaks, and simple ways to introduce real rest into your life without guilt. Thanks. So let's start with how to know when your body and mind are calling for that much needed rest. Because let's be honest, if you wait until you're totally burnt out, it's already too late. So you might notice some common signs that your body is asking for a rest. You might notice that you feel exhausted, but you also can't sleep properly, so you're tired, but your brain just won't switch off, or you wake up in the middle of the night feeling completely wired. And that's one of the things that can happen when we're constantly running at 100 miles an hour. If we never take those pauses, those times to stop and rest, we kind of forget what it feels like to feel rested. And this can transfer over to our sleep as well. So unless we're able to drop down into a more restful way of being, this can show up in those hours of sleep that leave us waking up just as tired as before we went to sleep. Something else that might show up for you. You might find that everything and everyone is irritating you. Even just little things like someone breathing too loudly. Yes, really, perhaps that might feel completely unbearable. Perhaps you feel like you're being unreasonable at times and maybe you are, maybe you're not. But when you start to notice that everything just feels intolerable, this is a sign that your body, your nervous system, is probably just taking on a bit too much. It's time to put a few things down. Next, let's look at brain fog and forgetfulness. These might start to ramp up at an all time high, so you may already notice that sometimes your brain is feeling foggy, that you might struggle to recall names, walking into rooms and forgetting why you're there, words just leaving you mid sentence, I relate to that one, or maybe you're even double booking yourself, missing appointments, just not being able to keep track of your diary. This can be a sign that you're spinning too many plates. And of course, yes, we do have menopause hormonal shifts that are enhancing this as well, which I will go on to talk about. But when it feels like there's all too much and you've been pulled in too many directions, this is probably a signal that some of these things need to fall away, or at least just give yourself permission to drop out of one or two things, even if it's just for a short while. You may also notice, your emotions feel a little more rollercoaster like, perhaps. You might notice you cry for, I'm gonna say no reason, but there probably is a reason. But you might feel you're a little closer to tears, or perhaps they come forward a little easier than usual. Or maybe you just know. That things are tipping you over the edge that wouldn't usually, perhaps something like the Wi Fi going down, have been there a few times. It's when these small things happen that we might usually breeze past, but all of a sudden they just feel either life or death, or like a whole day is ruined when there might be a simple solution. But when we are stretched so thinly, it can be hard to see those solutions, even if they seem simple when you've had that rest and when you feel better. Something else that might show up for you, you might find yourself procrastinating on your to do list. So you may have so much to do, but can't quite seem to take the steps to get them done. This might show up as doing a lot of little tasks, trying to avoid the big things that feel harder. Or, as is one of my signs, a thing I like to call procrastinating, or grabbing a procrasty snack. So perhaps when we head for the snacks, head to the fridge to just have a little something before we do our next thing. This is often a way that we try to take a rest without feeling like we're actually resting. So if this shows up for you, know that there is no shame or no blame here, this shows up for me too, and we can take these things as a signal instead of shaming or blaming ourselves for things that we might not want to do, that might not feel like our best behaviours. And perhaps you'll recognise this next one too. Do you find yourself saying, I just need to get through this week, but the next week is just as busy, and before you know it, every week is just one more push. Do these sound familiar to you? So let's remember that if you relate to some of these, or all of them, these are not failures. These are signals, they're signs. It's your body waving a red flag, trying to get your attention before you hit burnout. These are all here trying to protect you, even though it might not feel like it at the time. So let's look at why menopause can make this feel even more important. If you feel like you're a little less resilient than you used to be, you're not imagining it, it's not all just in your head. It doesn't actually mean that you are weak or that you're not as strong as it used to be. The first thing you might want to look at is what does your life look like now in comparison to your twenties and thirties? Are you handling more of life? Is there more demands on your time, energy, attention? This makes a difference. And through midlife, your perimenopause and menopause years, there is a lot more at play here too. Menopause brings hormonal shifts that can impact your ability to handle stress. So the fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels affect your ability to handle short term and long term stress. They can lead to higher levels and more prolonged levels of cortisol, your stress hormone, especially if this It's left unmanaged. So this can mean that things that used to feel manageable might now feel completely overwhelming. Also, there's your sleep quality. Poor sleep can make everything harder, emotionally, physically. And let's be real, nobody makes the best decisions when they're exhausted. And of course, with the drops in our progesterone, which is our calming, our sleep supportive hormone, it can feel a bit harder to nod off and get the quality sleep throughout these years. And it's not just our sleep that takes an impact. Our emotions are perhaps more volatile during these times, or they can be. Everyone has their own experience, but this is a common one throughout the people I talk to. So those drops in your oestrogen levels have an impact on your serotonin and your dopamine uptake as well. So these are your feel good hormones. So when we have a bit less going on in terms of the feel good hormone support, It can make us feel more prone to mood swings, anxiety, course, remember, if we're stretched so thinly, spinning all those plates, are you really taking any time out to feel the joy? Are you adding things into your life that help you feel good? So it's not just about the hormones here, it takes some action from you too. So the takeaway from this really is that yes, you might feel more sensitive to stress, but that is not a weakness. It's a biological response, which means it's just even more essential to create that space to pause, to take extra care of yourself at this time. Okay, so we might have established here that we know you need to take a break. But what kind is going to be most supportive for you? Because let's face it, sitting on the sofa scrolling your phone might feel like a break, and I think sometimes it is. But it's not always going to be giving your body and your brain exactly what they need. So before I dive into sharing some practical ideas with you, just let me say this. You don't always have to be doing something to justify your rest. These suggestions here are to support you, but sometimes the most valuable thing you can do is to just simply sit, breathe and allow yourself to just be. No agenda, no goal, just being. That in itself is an act of self care, even if it's just for a minute. It's possibly the most impactful thing you can do. Now recognising it's not always the easiest thing to do, which is why I'm going to give you some tips here, perhaps just to give you some ideas to get you started, to see what works for you. So we could start with looking at these mini daily pauses. These are small but mighty moments that can help stop the stress from building up, because we're not trying to achieve a State of total zen like peacefulness all the way through our day. We have things to respond to. We need to get up out of bed. There will be work for us to do. There'll be exciting things for us to respond to as well. So we're not looking to maintain exactly the same mental and emotional state all of the time. It's about how you respond, how your stress levels rise and fall. It's the coming back down in between that makes things much more manageable. So these mini daily pauses are something you can consider adding in to just help you come down from those highs of the stresses. So that you can finish your day perhaps feeling a little more centred than if you had tried to push through the whole day. So one thing you can start with is simply taking three deep slow breaths, perhaps focusing on an extended exhale. Now you can count if you wish to. But when I'm feeling quite stressed, I prefer to just focus on my exhale being a little bit longer than the inhale. For anything like me, if you are in a big rush or if you're feeling your heart rate a little high, I tend to end up counting my heartbeats, which for me is really unhelpful. So if you can, just focus on just extending that exhale a little bit. This is a great way to help your body switch into the rest and digest mode. So perhaps you can try this. when you're waiting for a kettle to boil instead of racing to unload the dishwasher. Next you might want to consider stepping outside for a couple of minutes. Even just standing at the door for some fresh air can help reset your nervous system. Access to a change in temperature, perhaps even a bit of sunlight depending on where you are in the world. But we've started to see some here over in the UK. This is just quick ways. But even if you can't make it out for the full on walk, just that change in environment can be really helpful. Next, you might want to consider a bit of a body check in. Can you pause for a few seconds to ask yourself, how do I actually feel right now? Can you draw your attention to how you're breathing? Is there a sensation you've been trying to ignore, like a stiff shoulder or stiff neck? Do you need to have a little stretch? Are you thirsty? Have you been crossing your legs holding off going for the toilet for the last hour to just finish these emails? Just stopping to check in with what your body actually needs and then responding is a really great way to just start to introduce pauses to support you to meet your own needs. And another mini moment we can try is perhaps on your next cup of tea or coffee. Can you have this without distractions? Could you perhaps put your phone down, close your laptop, and allow yourself to enjoy the moment of each sip of that tea or coffee? Can you pay attention to the steam? Can you notice how it smells or tastes, how it feels in your mouth? These are all little things to just bring yourself into that mindful moment so that as we rest we can also give the mind a rest as well instead of planning the rest of the day, thinking about what you're going to be doing next. So I believe those mini moments are the most powerful. They're the most accessible things that we can do on the every day. Of course, we can take some slightly longer breaks in your week as well to really enhance that opportunity for rest too. These might give your body and mind more space to reset without needing a huge time investment. So perhaps we're looking at 30 to 60 minutes here. So can you block out some time on an evening or a morning to do something that's purely just for you. Maybe it is a long bath. Maybe it's a slow walk. Or perhaps you might just spend some time watching a sunset. Maybe there's a class or a hobby, something that brings you joy that isn't tied directly into productivity. Something like yoga, dancing, a strength class even, painting, journaling. These can all support your social interactions as well. So when we're talking about rest and taking a pause, it doesn't always have to be spending time on your own. It doesn't always have to be time that you spend inactive either. It's about breaking up that routine, giving yourself back that time, that energy, that attention that you need to know that you're supported. This way we're signaling to our body that we are paying attention and that we will listen and respond to our needs. You might also want to consider a no phone meal. Perhaps you already have a phone ban at the dinner table, but if not, perhaps you can just spend that time enjoying your food. Enjoying every bite without distractions. You might notice that you enjoy your meal a lot more. It's just another way that we can break through that stress that can build up throughout the day. And of course, there are even bigger breaks that we can take to reset. These may be days, weekends, weeks. Sometimes stepping away entirely is a great thing to do. Although we may not be able to do this as often as these mini moments that I mentioned earlier. So could you plan a do nothing afternoon? Literally a whole afternoon where there are zero plans, no obligations, just space to rest. And see what comes up. You might actually feel like doing something. There might be a friend you feel like calling. But by clearing that diary space for you, or having that white space in the diary, knowing that the world is your oyster, just for those few hours. Whether you do nothing or something, whether you just sleep, who knows what you might end up doing. The point being you're giving yourself space, that permission to be in just pure choice with what you do with your time and energy. You may also take a solo day trip. You might visit a beach, a nature reserve, anywhere that makes you feel recharged. And I'm going to throw in a safety thing here. Do tell people where you're going and do stick to any safety guidelines for any areas that you visit and all those sorts of things. Yeah, solo trips are great, but also we need to look after our safety too. And perhaps you might book away a holiday, a retreat, a getaway. Not just for a change of scenery, but an opportunity to fully unplug from daily responsibilities. And I understand that sometimes holidays, for us especially if we have larger families, don't always feel the most restful. So again, take what feels possible for you right now. But I do want you to remember, waiting for your annual holiday isn't going to be enough. You can't rely on this one or two weeks per year to recharge. Those regular pauses are what's going to help sustain you so much better. So, do give them some consideration. So there's some ideas for you to try, and of course feel free to explore your own. There's no wrong way to take a pause, there's no wrong way to take a break, and if you find yourself getting distracted or even a little frustrated as you start to try and take these breaks, be gentle with yourself. Believe it or not, after living life in the vast lane, taking a break can take some practice too. So that's it for this week's episode, I hope you've enjoyed it. And if you've been feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or just running on empty, this is your invitation to pause, to listen to what your body and mind are trying to tell you. Your needs matter, rest is not lazy, taking breaks is not selfish, it's what allows you to show up as your best self. If you're struggling to figure out how to make that space for yourself in your busy life, I've got you. My free 30 minute clarity call is a chance for us to talk through what's going on and help you to create simple actionable way forward. So head over to the show notes or visit carlykillen. com to book one of those for yourself. So that's it for this week. I will see you next week, hopefully a little more rested. So until then stay strong and take care.