052: Finding Your Calm: How to Bring Peace to Your Menopause Journey

In this episode, Carly explores the theme of peace and why it can be especially hard to find during menopause.

Hormone changes, symptoms like heart palpitations, and overthinking can make peace feel out of reach.

But learning to embrace peace in all its forms is vital for both mental and physical health, including managing stress levels that impact bone health.

Tune in for practical prompts and reflections to help you connect with your own sense of peace.

Book your clarity call here: https://carlykillen.com/


If you or someone you know if struggling with metal health and wellbeing, these websites may be supportive:

Mind (UK) - www.mind.org.uk

• Provides advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. Offers information on a wide range of topics, including types of mental health problems, where to get help, and how to support someone else.

Mental Health Foundation (UK) - www.mentalhealth.org.uk

• Offers information on mental health, including tips for looking after your mental well-being, guides for different life stages, and a variety of mental health resources.

Samaritans (UK) - www.samaritans.org

• Provides a 24/7 helpline and support services for people who are struggling to cope, experiencing mental health difficulties, or feeling overwhelmed.

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If you'd like to get in touch to ask a question about today's episode or to find out how you can get support from my coaching, reach out on the following links:

hello@carlykillencoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/thestrongbonescoach

Thanks for listening to The Strong Bones Coach Podcast!

If you’d like to get in touch with a question about today’s episode or find out how I can support you with coaching, here’s how to reach me:
📧 Email: hello@carlykillencoaching.com
📱 Instagram: @thestrongbonescoach

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Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Hello and welcome back to the Strong Bones Coach Podcast with your host Carly. That's me. So today we're going to talk about a topic I covered in a recent breathwork session I led, for those of you that have not been following along, or if you are new, welcome. As well as being a menopause strength coach, I am working on adding breathwork facilitation into my current coaching repertoire. So this involves learning all about how we can change our breathing to change how we feel, and of course learning how to lead and hold others within a group and individual settings whilst they go through their own personal explorations. So as part of a group session, I really wanted to explore the theme of peace. It often brings up some really interesting reflections for me, and I wasn't alone in my thinking, as always. We are never alone. through my own thoughts and what I've shared with others, I really do feel that peace doesn't always feel like a quiet or calm state, like we might expect. In fact, many of us find it challenging to feel peaceful, especially as we start exploring and navigating the perimenopause and menopause phases. Because as we go through menopause, we have so many fluctuations in our hormones. This can stir up a lot of anxiety, a lot of irritability. overthinking, and even physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, which can make it super hard to achieve that sense of peace. Not to mention all of the other things that we are juggling at this phase of life. Our work, family, commitments, and also personal goals. It can feel like we have a lot of pressure on us to perform, to do well, to succeed, and there's nothing wrong with this. but. When we're run ragged constantly, it really is important to see how we can explore finding these moments of peace for ourselves, not just for our mental well being, but also for our physical health too. Knowing that we can return to this peaceful feeling can really help us navigate our day to day lives. a lot more smoothly, can help us play a role in managing and even preventing health conditions that affect our heart, our brain, our bones. So in today's episode, we're going to explore what peace really means, why it can be difficult to find this during menopause, and how we can cultivate it or promote it, even when our bodies and our mind are anything but calm. I'll also be guiding you through a few ideas of how you can connect to your own sense of peace, no matter where you are in your day to day life or your menopause journey. Let's start by addressing why achieving peace can feel so elusive during our menopause transition. So during this time, hormonal shifts are affecting more than just our bodies. They're impacting our minds and our emotions too. So as levels of oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone fluctuate, you might find yourself dealing with more of these symptoms. The mood swings, anxiety, feeling irritable, or just unsettled. And when we do notice those changes in our heart rate or palpitations, it can feel really unsettling, especially if this is coupled with health anxiety, which is really common as we go through perimenopause, especially when we don't have the support or the understanding of what we've got going on in our bodies. That's why I'm such a big advocate for everybody having an understanding of what is involved with menopause and how this feels. in our own bodies, or part of that embodiment, because this really does empower you to take control of the experience you want, and how to move forward with your wants and needs for the future, what you want your life to look like. So when we do experience these hormonal changes, it can make it super challenging to relax, or to find a moment of calm. This has been part of my experience recently too. I've quite often found just as I'm settling down into bed, getting nice and calm, relaxed, and my heart has been feeling like it is absolutely thudding through my chest. I've had to be using the breathlet techniques to really calm myself down. Even though I wasn't mentally feeling in any way anxious, my heart was actually starting to cause this reaction because of how I could feel it. Especially when I'm trying to go to sleep. Really unhelpful. so I've been having to give a lot of focus to my breathing as I'm going to sleep, which can feel a bit frustrating, especially when you just want to nod off. And perhaps you feel something similar. Perhaps you're in the middle of your day, feeling like everything's under control. And then you just get this wave of anxiety maybe, or perhaps a racing heart, or this rush of negative thoughts can sometimes just hit you. And suddenly the sense of peace you were hoping for feels like it's slipping away. So if you do feel like you've experienced this, know that you're not alone. This is a natural part of the menopause journey, and it's something we can work with rather than against. It doesn't mean we have to put up with it. So finding your peace, especially during this time of our lives, doesn't mean that we have to be free of symptoms or that our minds are perfectly calm. It's more about learning to sit with these experiences when it's safe to, and to breathe through them, and to create those moments of stillness amidst the chaos, especially if you're having a particularly hectic day. It's super important for our mental well being. And this is how we can create that sense of agency over our own experience and how we want our day to gO. So when we move on to look at how our bodies can be affected, I mentioned bone health. Of course, this is the Strong Bones Coach podcast, So of course I'm going to be looking at this. So you might wonder, how does finding peace help with your bones? Which is a great question. It doesn't sound all that relevant, does it? But I've spoken about this before, about how stress and anxiety can have a direct impact on our physical health, which does include our bone health. So when we're stressed, our body produces cortisol, a hormone that in excess, or in the long term, can have an impact on our body. and interfere with our bone building processes. So in the long term, chronic stress can accelerate bone loss, increasing your risk of osteoporosis. So by finding this sense of peace within ourselves, we can help manage our stress levels and reduce the impact of cortisol on our bones. Finding even small moments of peace can support overall health, help regulate our nervous system, and make it easier for our bodies to absorb nutrients and maintain our strong bones. This is why practices like breathwork, mindfulness, meditation, they're not just nice to have. They become incredibly helpful, even more so as we age and as we go through perimenopause and menopause, to support our health on all levels. So how do we go about finding this peace, this elusive peace during menopause when it feels like anything but quiet? Well, one of the first challenges many of you might face is that when we sit down to Be peaceful, to be quiet, the opposite can happen. So these moments of quiet can sometimes make space for uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations that might rise up at this time. It was something I wanted to explore throughout the breathwork session that I delivered to give ourselves space to. explore how peace doesn't always feel the most serene, tranquil state. Sometimes being peaceful can mean sitting with a discomfort, allowing those thoughts and feelings to come up and breathing through them, which is why we hold such a safe space in these scenarios. And this might not always feel like something you can do by yourself. So if you'd like some support with that, please do reach out and we can have a chat to see if this is something that might be suitable to support you. Because during menopause, These additional fluctuations in our hormones can really trigger overthinking. These emotional waves can feel bigger, and even physical symptoms can feel stronger. They can feel more worrying. And it's a known fact that mental health challenges can come back up throughout perimenopause due to these hormonal shifts. They may appear for the first time. So if this is you, and this is feeling very tense, very triggering, if you're struggling, I will add a note in at this point though, if you are really struggling with your mental well being, your mental health, please do also reach out. You don't need to do this alone, and there are times where perhaps some more further professional help such as counselling or psychotherapy can be supportive. So I will add into the show notes a couple of mental health support charities and helplines that you can have a look at if this is something you are concerned about. Please do look after yourself and keep yourself safe, especially if you are struggling to sit with difficult emotions and experiences. But with that aside, just because discomfort does come up, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's a sign that you're doing it wrong. It is a natural part of the process. to sit and allow yourself to be present with whatever arises. If you can do this without judgment and give yourself the opportunity to release some of that pent up tension and stress, it can be incredibly beneficial for your body, which of course will translate over to your bones too. So what could peace actually look like right in the middle of a busy or chaotic day? So finding peace Might not look at all like sitting on a meditation cushion or a yoga mat. It might look like taking a few deep breaths in your car before heading into work, or finding a quiet corner to practice a simple breathing technique, something like coherence breathing that I've mentioned in other episodes. So in the breathwork session, I led recently, we explored resource points. So this is something that can help to bring you a sense of safety or comfort, a bit like an anchor, when peace feels out of reach. It's a way to really come back to yourself. If there's anything challenging or difficult comes up. A way to show yourself some self-care in the moments if anytime you just feel like you need the extra comfort, extra self-love. So perhaps for you, it might be placing your hand on a part of your body that feels good, might be a heart you, your arms, something like that. But it might be something that's nothing to do with your body. it might be visualizing a calming place. remembering a moment when you felt super strong and capable. By using these anchors it helps us to find a sense of grounding, especially when we're right in the middle of hormonal and emotional turbulence that we might be experiencing. So this can be quite a good technique to learn and to make use of in the day to day, especially at those times when it just feels like the rug's being pulled out from under your feet I'm pretty sure a lot of you will relate to that. So of course we always have some practical tips for you in this podcast, so let's go through some of the prompts that we could use to help you connect with a sense of peace, even when menopause is throwing you curveballs. But firstly, focusing on an anchor point or a resource point. As I said, this is connecting with something that brings you that sense of calm. Whether that is a part of your body, perhaps it's breathing into a place in your chest that feels good. or bring into mind something that makes you feel super comfortable, whether it's a pet, your best friend, or even something like playing with a bracelet or a ring, that can be super helpful. Anything to help you feel more grounded, especially if you are experiencing anxiety or troubling physical symptoms that you know are related to your perimenopause symptoms. Another area to focus on is your breath awareness. So can you spend some time just noticing your breathing without trying to change it? You can pay attention to if you are breathing through your nose or your mouth. You can explore whether your chest or your belly is moving or if it's both, in what order. You can really spend some time focusing on the spaces between your inhale and your exhale. When we spend time observing your breath, it helps bring you back to the present. And it can serve to interrupt the cycle of overthinking or that rabbit hole that we can go down when we feel stressed. And lastly, offer yourself self compassion. When we're feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself that it's okay to feel this way. Just take a moment to sit and acknowledge that you are navigating a challenging phase of life. Peace can come from being kind to yourself, even when things are hard. The invitation for you here to consider, what does peace look like for you right now? Perhaps a journaling prompt there for you, for those of you that like to scribble, or something just to ponder over when you get a moment of quiet. Perhaps today it's finding a few moments to breathe through chaos. Perhaps it's connecting with the anchor point to remind yourself that you are strong and capable. Whatever this looks like, remember, peace is not about trying to achieve perfection. It's about creating those small moments when you can be present with yourself, just as you are. If you are feeling overwhelmed by medical symptoms, life changes, or just not sure how to move forward, I do have something special for you. I am offering free 30 minute clarity goals to help you untangle that confusion, those messy thoughts that might be holding you back. So in this mini coaching session, we'll create a simple path forward so you can step into a vibrant, confident, confident world. future and feel truly empowered with your menopause care. So you can book this Clarity Call through the link in the show notes or directly from my website, and I would love to support you on this journey and help you to take those next steps with confidence. So until next week, stay strong, be kind to yourself, and remember, peace is always within reach, even in the toughest of times. So until next week, take care.