049 Finding Your Tribe: Breaking Through Isolation in Midlife

In this episode of The Strong Bones Coach Podcast, Carly explores how strength training can be a powerful tool to combat midlife isolation and build meaningful connections.

Discover how exercise can help you connect with others, stay true to your values, and form a supportive tribe that enhances both your physical and emotional well-being.

Carly shares practical advice on finding or creating a fitness community that aligns with your health goals and offers tips on nurturing self-connection. Tune in to learn how to foster a sense of belonging and shine your unique light during menopause.

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Do you crave unshakable confidence in your strength from midlife and beyond? Would you love to achieve your goals without sacrificing family time or self-care?

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Thank you for being here, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey to strength, health, and confidence! 💪🦴✨

Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Hello and welcome back to the StrongBones Coach podcast with me, your host Carly. And I'm so glad you're here for episode number 49, if I'm counting correctly. So approaching 50th episode. That's quite a milestone and I don't know what that time has gone. Can I just say how grateful I am for all of you joining me and the comments and questions I get to help build these episodes because, yeah, I could not do this without you. And it's just so good to know that I'm not alone in this as much as you are not alone in your experience too. So this brings me onto a topic that is incredibly important to me and many of us in midlife, and that is experiencing and combating isolation. So today we'll discuss how strength training can be a powerful tool, not just for our physical health, but also for building meaningful connections. right into the importance of your self connection. So knowing your values and allowing yourself to be authentically you. Because when you feel strong in who you are, you naturally attract the right people into your life. So let's get started. But first, let's just acknowledge that midlife can be a time, as it can be, it is a time of significant change, physically, emotionally, perhaps your life is just not looking anything like it used to, or perhaps nothing like what you expected. And while your social network might seem to be growing in some ways, more colleagues, more acquaintances. The busyness of life, work, family commitments can make it difficult to maintain those deep and meaningful connections, those connections that truly light you up and restore and support you. So this can mean that isolation can sneak up on you, especially if your usual places of connection, like meeting friends at pubs or cafes, perhaps don't serve your health goals anymore. And this shift can lead to a feeling of disconnection. As though you're no longer aligned with the people or places that once felt comfortable. And that can feel lonely. This is how you can feel isolated, even in a room full of people. So how can we take steps back to connection? Not just to others, but to yourself too. So let's talk about how strength training can play a role in helping us manage and reverse this isolation feeling. So strength training isn't just about lifting weights and building muscle, I mean of course it is, but it's about creating a routine that grounds you, that connects you with your body and introduces you to a community of like minded individuals. This was actually a huge connection point for me after living a life of feeling totally disconnected from my body. Basically a floating head, overthinking everything, feeling totally overwhelmed by life. It was through starting strength training where I truly started to feel that connection to my body. That peace of mind that comes in when you can just focus on how you're moving, how that movement is feeling. And to receive that peace from the overthinking was just so revolutionary for me. This is why I feel so passionately about strength training. Yes, it's all the physical benefits, but for me, it was a huge mental well being point and the point at which I really started to connect back to myself after so many years. This might be true for you. When you walk into a gym or perhaps join a fitness group, you're stepping into a space where others are experiencing similar life changes. You may notice there are shared experiences that can lead to deeper connections and the formation of what can feel like a tribe that supports you both physically and emotionally with your well being. It's just about finding the right space for you and perhaps feeling a little vulnerable as we maybe say that first hello as people pass. Honestly, we're not that scary in the gym, I promise. But like I said, it's not just all about others. It's super important to really know ourselves too. So before we even think about connecting with others, it's crucial to consider how do we connect with ourselves? Self connection is about truly knowing who you are, what your values are, and allowing yourself to be authentic in all aspects of your life, in all parts of yourself and your being. Even the bits that feel like flaws, when we can include and acknowledge and see every part of us, we can work towards allowing that to be seen like others. And when you're strong in who you are, it shines through everything you do. That inner strength creates a path for the right people to enter your life. Those who resonate with your values, your energy, your unique light. So in a world that pressures us to conform, staying true to yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do. It not only enhances your self worth, that also makes your connections with others far more meaningful. how can we translate the self connection into finding, creating a community that aligns with our health goals and our values? So of course, we have some practical tips. So first thing, you can join a gym or a club that reflects your values. So look for spaces that feel right to you, places where the energy matches yours, where you feel you can truly be yourself. Gyms or clubs that prioritise community and wellness over competition can be a very welcoming environment and there is such a thing as friendly competition and community created through competition. Very much so. How I found community within the Olympic weightlifting space. At the gym that I'm at at Strong for Life, this is absolutely crucial. It's why I run my in person business from there. Because we match values, we value community, we value support and personal development just as much as we do with the strength gains. And I'm super grateful for finding that space for myself. Secondly, why not try a group fitness class, a strength group, something that allows you to work with others. So these group sessions offer a wonderful opportunity to meet new people, to build new connections, whether it's a strength training class, something like my strong bones book, perhaps it's yoga, pilates, it's having that shared experience that can lead to lasting friendships. And knowing that there is those spaces for those chats, for that time to relate to each other, to share experiences, which is why at Strong Bones Club we have such a strong community. Every member of Strong Bones Club is on some point of their menopause journey, and it's such a connecting force. It reminds us that we're not alone, which does so much to support us when we're going through some really challenging physical and emotional changes in our lives. And of course, if nothing else, the accountability of showing up for yourself, knowing there's others there cheering you on too. That is always a win. Thirdly, Encourage health promoting social activities. So as I said before, we can look at activities that align with health goals, like going for a hike, a walk in the park, perhaps a cooking class. These activities allow you to stay connected with friends while staying true to your values and exploring those health changes for yourself without feeling like you are leaving your friendship groups behind. Of course, sometimes this does happen, which is why it's so important to keep exploring, because as you grow, others may grow with you, some may not, but you'll be able to discover more of the right kind of people for you in ways that support your long term health. So perhaps instead of sitting down for that coffee and cake, we take the coffee to go and walk in the park. Just one example there for you. And perhaps get creative with that too. I would love to hear your ideas about how you can include your health goals with your social activities as well. Please do share. And of course, for those of us that aren't perhaps able to get out, an in person community is not feasible. There are so many online groups that focus on health, fitness, well being. I might even have something coming up for you very soon, but it's not quite ready to come out the bag yet. But these spaces can provide support, motivation, a sense of belonging from the comfort or convenience of the home. This can make such a difference when perhaps traveling child care might be something that is getting in the way just for this phase of your life. So even if you can't travel or the right community in person is just not there for you or not suitable for you, there will be something online. You can still find that support. If you'd like some help with directing to the right space, I am more than happy to have a chat with you. So please do get in touch. number five, let's look at how we navigate those changes in our social circles. So as we grow, our priorities can shift. It's natural to feel disconnected from some of the social circles we once relied on as your habits change and your preferences change Maybe you simply want to focus on more of those health promotion activities You can feel isolated if your friends aren't on the same path But it's important to remember that you don't have to lose those connections. You can navigate these changes together So open up a conversation with your friends. Suggest new activities that support both health goals and friendships. Maybe get ahead of these things if you know you're planning to make changes. Let them in. Let them know why it's important to you. Share your experiences, your hopes, dreams, goals. You never know who you might inspire. And bonus tip, let's not forget the added bonus of building connections in spaces that happen to also promote health. When your social life is centered around activities that support your well being and not just improving your physical health, you're also nurturing more positive, fulfilling social experience. So imagine being part of a community where everyone is focused on becoming and discovering that best version of themselves. By the way, It's such a powerful way to progress, to develop and feel truly connected. So to sum up, Recovered Strengths Training. But that is so much more than a way to stay fit. It truly is a that can help you combat midlife isolation. It can help you build meaningful connections and stay true to yourself. By knowing who you are, what you value, you can create a community that supports and enhances your journey. If you're feeling disconnected or isolated, I encourage you to take that first step. Whether it's joining a gym, trying a new class, just reaching out for a friend for a walk. Remember you're not alone in this. So thank you for joining me today. I am so grateful for the time you spend listening to the things I have to say and share with you. And if you have any questions or need support, feel free to reach out to me on hello@carlykillencoaching.com. com or come and find me on Instagram, I'm the Strong Bones Coach. So until next week, stay strong and take care.