047: How to Cope with OVERWHELM in Menopause Symptoms to Self-Care

In this episode of The Strong Bones Coach Podcast, Carly tackles the topic of overwhelm during menopause.

Learn why feelings of overwhelm are so common, how to distinguish between menopause symptoms and more serious health issues, and practical tips for navigating exercise routines and daily responsibilities.

Carly also shares her free guide, 'Could It Be Menopause?' which includes a symptom tracker and helpful questions for your GP. Tune in for insights and strategies to help you feel more in control during this transition.

Key Questions Covered:

• Why do women feel overwhelmed during menopause?
• How can you distinguish between menopause symptoms and more serious health issues?
• What are some tips for feeling less overwhelmed at the gym?
• How can you manage daily responsibilities and find time for self-care?
• Tune in to this episode to learn about managing overwhelm during menopause. 

• Download the free 'Could It Be Menopause?' guide at carlykillen.com and start tracking your symptoms today. 

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If you'd like to get in touch to ask a question about today's episode or to find out how you can get support from my coaching, reach out on the following links:

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Transcript

Carly: 0:37

Hello and welcome back to the Strong Bones Coach podcast with me, your host Carly Killen. I hope you're all well this week. I am absolutely. I've been hearing a lot from people during the school holidays over here in the UK at the moment. there's been a lot of talk about that never ending list of things to do, especially now that's. Some of you have got children and grandchildren, spending more time with you, which I know is totally amazing. But it's funny how we expect to do all these things in addition to our usual daily tasks, isn't it? So this week we're talking about a topic I know will resonate with so many of you, and that is overwhelm, especially during menopause. So just from the sheer number of symptoms that we can experience to navigating what exercise routines can we actually do and does that need to change? And also that infamous finding time for yourself. It's so easy to feel like you're drowning in it all. So today we're going to break down these feelings of overwhelm. And I'm going to provide you with some practical tips as usual to make sure you can manage this to help you feel that sense of control. Plus, I will be sharing a free resource that I've made for you, which can make a huge difference in your journey. So let's get going. The first thing I want to look at is what is overwhelm? I love to understand the origins of words. I find that so often we say things that we pick up from others and that meaning is passed along, but how often do we stop to gain an understanding of what we really mean? So I found two definitions of overwhelm which I'd love to share with you. The first one being it's to bury or to be drowned beneath a huge mass of something, especially water, which is interesting. And the other definition I found was to have a strong emotional effect on someone or to be flooded with emotions. But I found this really interesting that there seems to be an association here with water in both of these definitions. Now, over the last few months, most part of this year, I've had a growing interest in getting to know the elements, these being earth, air, fire, water, it's all been part of me connecting with nature a lot more, but it's amazing how much guidance and support we can find in connecting to a world as it is. So, I've learned that water is associated with emotions, which is super interesting, and perhaps more relevant in that water is so powerful, and it can be heavy and crushing as if if you're trying to carry it, or if you're underneath a waterfall, or perhaps the avalanche of snow. But it can also be incredibly supportive, like the way we get to feel weightless when we swim in a pool, or the sea, or perhaps the They're both very different experiences. You can see here that how we experience the world depends on our circumstances and how we choose to manage what comes our way and what perspective we choose to come from. So how does this apply to us as we travel through menopause? I hear so much that overwhelm is a common experience throughout all stages of menopause. And that's not too surprising. we are experiencing a whole host of symptoms, of sensations, things like hot flushes, those rapid changes in mood, sleep disturbances. I mean, there's more than 40 symptoms that are associated with our menopause transition. And it can be hard to distinguish is menopause related. And what might be something else more serious? And health anxiety during menopause is in fact another symptom. But of course we don't want to be ignoring something that could be in need of medical attention. So what do we do for the best? It's not surprising we feel overwhelmed. Because all this uncertainty can add to that feeling of overwhelm. It can make it tough to know what steps to take next. So let's break this down between addressing the health concerns and symptoms first, because these can be the first things that might alert you to the suspicion that perhaps that menopause transition is going on for you. So one of the biggest sources of overwhelm is not knowing if what you're experiencing is due to menopause or if it's something more serious. And I can absolutely emphasize the importance of knowing yourself, knowing what your baseline is, knowing what how many times do you manage to spend that time to get to know yourself? How often is it that in the busyness of day to day, we forget to check in with how we feel? And this can lead to us feeling disconnected from ourselves. So those little niggles, they can go unnoticed for quite a long time. So I do want to emphasize that importance of tracking your symptoms. Keeping a record can really help you and your health provider. Understand what's going on with your body, perhaps helping you to reconnect with yourself as well. So there are symptom trackers available for menopause and I will be sharing a link to one that I've developed for you, too. So stay tuned for information about how to grab that Because when we go for those elusive appointments. If you're in the UK, it can be quite challenging to get a discussion with a health provider, and this is not to put you off. This is just acknowledging that it's not always the easiest thing to do, and it's not always the easiest conversation to have, especially if you're feeling that time pressure. So having the information to hand with those tracked symptoms can provide so much clarity and peace of mind, knowing that your GP, your health provider, will be able to help you make sense of this and take the right actions that need to be happening next. Another area where I feel and hear from you, where you experience that overwhelm is in the gym. Now, I know so many of you are now becoming more aware of the importance of taking care of your body, of moving regularly, of strength training. Thanks to those of you that have been listening to the podcast, so grateful that you do. You might still feel unsure about what exercises are right for you. You might be worried about overexerting yourself, or you might be concerned about what others think. So here's a few tips here to ease some of that gym anxiety. First thing you want to be looking at is just starting off slowly, and I know it might feel like you want to do everything all at once, even just showing up for a short mobility session in the gym just to get outta the house. It can feel like, is this even going to do anything? Honestly, if you're thinking about bikini body, the typical magazine articles that used to show these bronzed ladies with abs on show, then no, it's not going to do that. But that's not the overall goal, is it? We want you to feel good, we want you to be able to enjoy your life and live a life that actually means something to you. And yes, you might progress onto longer workouts, onto using weights and using the gym in its fullness, but we need to start somewhere. And if you are worried about how your body is feeling, if you're dealing with a lot of aches and pains, we want to create a positive relationship with exercise. So that starting slow, those 10 minutes, it's there to build your confidence. So focus on movements that you enjoy and notice what makes you feel good. This can be built on as you go forward. So don't worry, do what feels good. Do what you can do on a regular basis. The next thing you might want to consider is to get some guidance. There's nothing like having another brain on the job, someone who has an understanding of menopause, someone who is trained to coach you in the right way, that they can notice how your body is moving and what needs to be adjusted to make sure you can move comfortably and to progress with your strength and to progress with the goals that you want. It takes out so much of the thinking needed for you because let's face it, you don't have time to go and do a PT course on top of a menopause coaching course. You've got your own job, your own life. We outsource other parts of our lives. We might have a gardener, we might have a cleaner for the house. So of course you can absolutely outsource. some of that support that's needed, but knowing that it comes back to you and that knowledge is gained by you. I always say that no one can ever take away anything that you invest in yourself. So getting support from someone that can help with that personal support, help you know how you need to move for you, what that needs to look like, how that needs to feel, this will do so much to help you feel more confident. And another one for the gym, but this can go for anything that you do, any sort of new situation that you enter into. So that's, let's ignore the noise, and by that I mean the mental chatter that we can be experiencing. So when we're going somewhere new, whether that is a club or a group, or perhaps it is going to the gym, you might feel like everyone's staring at you. But we can get real here, most people are just focused on themselves, their own workouts. Most people aren't judging others. And if they were, their judgments are not really worth you worrying about. But I know that in the moment, this will be hard to remember. And I remember those days when I felt stuck on the treadmill, wanting nothing more than to have the confidence to go over to the weights area to make a real change to my strength, my health, my body. But the idea even walking through the weight training area to grab a weight was overwhelming. I too felt like I had a thousand eyes on me just waiting for me to mess up. So I do know what this feels like. And honestly, the only way around it is through. Again, this can really help. And you know, you've got somebody in your corner for me, it was having my training program with me. I was holding it up. Like it was a shield, like my permission slipped to be there, but it can be having somebody that, you know, you can go back to someone to celebrate with when you do that challenging thing, this makes all the difference when we know we have to give ourselves a little push for our own good. Now, these are not the only sources of overwhelm in our life. Life in general tends to stack up and it can really feel like it's stacking up against you sometimes, especially if you are struggling with anxiety, if you're struggling with your mental well being. So it can be so easy to feel overwhelmed by daily responsibilities, whether that's work, family, personal commitments. It can just feel impossible to find time for yourself. And this can be down to our boundaries, it can be down to our people pleasing, as so many of us have had that sort of upbringing, we've felt conditioned to want to please others. And a lot of us have listened to this, we want to help, we want to be helpful. But the important thing is that when we are helpful to others, it's not the expense of our own self care, our own well being, because we know that when we do this, it's only a matter of time before we're no longer able to help and support those that we love, and that we want to be a positive force in their lives. So the work you can do now to support yourself. means that you will have more capacity to help more people. So let's look at how we can start to reduce some of the overwhelm in that daily life. So firstly, prioritizing your self care. We may need to start scheduling these small pockets of time each day for yourself. Remember, you don't owe anybody your free time. That white space is yours to claim, it does not need to be given away. But if it helps initially, perhaps scheduling that into your diary, so it looks like more of a pocket of time, it looks like something that is that you That little bit easier to defend. So even if it is just 10 minutes, start with something that you know you can do. Let's not set ourselves up to fail here. We want to set yourself up with a feeling of success. Again, creating that positive relationship with yourself. So perhaps you want to use this time to do something that truly relaxes or rejuvenates you. It doesn't have to be a bubble bath, not that I could get a bubble bath done in 10 minutes, but something that genuinely makes you feel restored. That's a great place to start, something that fills up your cup. Again, we can look at, Delegating tasks. So please don't be afraid to ask for help. Responsibilities can be shared with family, especially if you have children that are getting a little older into their teens or into their, their late teens now, perhaps this is an opportunity to teach them what they need to know to live their lives. And in that way, they can help you. With my clients, I often do a stop, start, continue exercise. And this is where we look at all of the things that you have to do and all the things you want to do as well. And we start to look at where can these responsibilities be shared? where can these be outsourced? Perhaps some of them aren't even needed and they're just down to an expectation or an obligation you feel you have due to societal expectations you feel you need to keep to. Of course, I'm always doing this in the most supportive way possible. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm not here to tell you what's important to you, but only here to hold you as you decide, as you realize, discover what means the most to you. And how you want your life to look. And of course, to achieve a lot of this, boundaries can play a big part. Learning to say no to things when they're draining your energy, learning to protect your time when you have factored in that self care, so learning to focus on what's truly important to you and letting go of the rest. Now I do a lot of work on values and boundaries with my clients because to know your boundaries we need to know what's important to you first, which is why we do a lot of work on this within the one to one coaching. It does open up so many doors to you with so much more possibilities in your life once you master this. Let's look at some other practical tips to help you manage with your overwhelm. Now, of course, when things are feeling a bit too much, if you're feeling that anxiety is creeping up, or you just know you need to take a break, which helps when you get to know yourself a little bit better, you'll recognize these cues a bit more easily. Taking time for some mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises are all ways to help bring down some of that chaotic feeling, bringing yourself down into your center, reducing your stress. creating those moments of calm. This can be done in 60 seconds. And I shared some of these breathing exercises on last week's podcast. So please feel free to head back over there and listen into that. And this is all to help you bring yourself down to a stress level that is manageable for you. And ideally reducing the stress completely, but even just taking it down a few notches, it just helps you to finish your day feeling so much more you. And of course we need to remember, you do not need to do this alone. Your connection with yourself, of course is important, but it's also important to connect with others. So joining a support group or connecting with friends who understand what you're going through has so much value in your life. Sharing your experiences, sharing your own tips and receiving tips from others can be really comforting. And knowing you're not alone in this journey does a lot to help you cope with this transition. And lastly, something I really feel quite passionate to share with you, when you want to reduce your overwhelm, it can be as simple as, Reducing your input. So that's like, that's your knowledge input, by the way. There is such a thing as too much information and I'm not just talking about sharing the ins and outs of your menopause experience. I'm fully here for that and there is nothing that has been shared with me that's ever caused me to judge or be shocked. I've heard and experienced a lot. I am talking about here is the accumulation of information about menopause. What you should and shouldn't do, which supplements won't help, what to eat, how to exercise. The more you look, the more you're likely to come across conflicting information. And this is no surprise because while you will share many of your experiences with many other women in menopause, you are not alone, as I say, but you will have your own unique experience, your own response too. So even the factual and evidence based information and guidance out there may not be applicable or suitable for you. This is why a personal support approach is so useful. When you're constantly chopping and changing advice, methods, diets, exercises, not only does it make it hard for you to feel the benefits of support, but it can lead to feelings of failure too, that you can't stick to anything. A good coach will hold you through these moments of doubt. So you can stay true to chosen method or action and help you decide when in fact a change is really needed. So an invitation here to reduce your sources of information, perhaps we could call it a fact loss diet, or maybe not, but do find a way to ensure you are accessing support and a way to clarify what information, what support is really needed for you. And to help you navigate some of these challenges, I have created a free guide called Could It Be Menopause? This guide is a symptom tracker for menopause, a way of you getting in touch with yourself and understanding what it is that you're experiencing. You'll be able to take this to your health provider to help support a conversation around are you experiencing menopause and what support you need to feel better and to support your health and well being through this transition. So you can download it from my website at CarlyKillen. com and I will pop the link in the show notes. So using this guide you can feel so much more in control, less overwhelmed by the change you're experiencing and give you a focus to have a more supportive conversation with your healthcare provider whilst ensuring you've had other health concerns screened or ruled out. So overall, overwhelm, During menopause is common, but it can be manageable for you. By understanding your symptoms, finding the right movements for you, prioritizing your self care, and accessing resources like my free guide, can really help you navigate this transition with more confidence and ease. So remember, you're not alone in this journey. If you have any questions or need one to one support, feel free to reach out to me at hello at carlykillencoaching. com. And thank you for joining me today. next week, stay strong and take care.